Baby you can drive my car

Well ride my bike/scooter whatever.

Anyone ever been to the Essendon Traffic School? Seems like I was the only disadvantaged child that never got to go in primary school. Luckily my kids won't be in the same boat since they where lucky enough to be invited to a kids party there. Who knew that you could hire the place out? The kids had a ball.

Sometimes I don't mind being woken at 6am

Especially when it's someone's BIRTHDAY!

Dear Jackasaurus,

I still remember the day that I realised you where in my tummy. I was so excited, but I was also a little scared. How was I going to be able to look after two babies? Your big brother was only a baby too. I used to rub my tummy at night talking to you used to answer me with your little kicks back. Every day my tummy got bigger and bigger and the Doctors kept telling me that you where going to be very big. When you finally came out you where HUGE. That was the day that we decided to call you Boof.

Jack 16.08.04 4.95kgs 59cm

From the day we took you home you where the most relaxed little boy. You adored your big brother. Even when he kept laying on you and trying to squish you with his cuddles. We always said that one day you'd get him back and that one day came as soon as you could crawl. You used to follow him everywhere. If he was playing with something, you wanted to play too but you where so big and clumsy that you'd just knock everything over.

As you grew, so did your personality. You have always been the entertainer, even when little you'd love to put on a show for us and we still get some sort of show at least every day now. You are the stereotypical middle child. Just so relaxed and you quite happily go with the flow.

I love you with all my heart Mr Jackasaurus. Happy birthday my baby boy. xx

---

Yes, Jack's birthday was quite a while back but for some reason this didn't auto post on his birthday and I only just realised. Sorry Jack :(

It's good enough for me

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

Familiar anyone? Nope? Well does this jog your memory then?

I hadn't thought about this movie for years until my brother quite nicely pointed out the similarities between sloth and photo of Jack after getting dumped by a wave at the beach on the weekend. Poor Jack and his unfortunate typical 7 year old mismatched teeth - complete with the one ripper front tooth (you know the one, great for opening cans).

WDYT? Can you see the resemblance?

Everybody hurts, sometimes

There is so much I want to write, but I can't find the words. 

I watched the whole attack live after getting home from work. I couldn't tun the tv off. 

Those images haunt me. They always will. 

To the victims of 9/11 - May you be in a better place and know that you will never be forgotten. 

To the survivors of 9/11 - Stay stong and know that you will always be in the hearts of many.

Nobody likes a bogan

Who would have thought that a simple day at work would have ended with me almost getting into a stereotypical  Western Suburbs punch on? 

Earlier in the day there was an incident with a lovely *cough* lady *even bigger cough* who didn't appreciate myself and the store manager telling her that her children may get injured playing on the workout machines outside our store. Without going into detail, let's just say that she REALLY didn't appreciate it and found many imaginative ways to tell us that and what we should be doing rather than worrying about her children. Needless to say, security was called and her and her friend where escorted out of the plaza. Or so we thought.

When leaving work, the boss and I where lucky enough to run into the friend of the lovely lady who decided that it was the perfect opportunity to go for another round. Me being me, couldn't help myself and gave her a serve back (hey, I wasn't at work any longer so why should I put up with it) to which she jumped out of her car and came at me demanding I say it to her face. So I did. I'm guessing it was probably a lucky thing that she was standing nose to nose to me otherwise she more than likely would have decked me. I won't deny that I was quietly shitting myself, but I didn't back down which I think threw her. So after a few choice words back and forth she walked off. 

I think my poor boss will never look at me the same again. At least I got something good out of my Melton upbringing.

Good old Collingwood forever...

They know how to play the game.
*snort*

Nothing like a good ol' Collingwood ass whipping to lift the spirits. And this sight over the weekend lifted it even more.

Ba de ya - tell me you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudly day

Now that you've got your grove on, let this be a warning to you. You know those lhamo bloggers that everybody whines about that can't think of anything to write so they pepper their posts with song lyrics. Well I am one. Well kinda. It's not that I can't think of anything to write but sometimes the music is just so apt that I have to throw it into a post or even as the header to it. If I can hear it in my head while typing, why not pester the masses with it.

So in that vein, I hereby proclaim September to be THE MONTH OF SONG LYRICS.

If you  don't like it, you know where the hide button is. 

Mastercard

Being woken up at 6am - irritating
Being constantly shot with Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 Blaster - maddening
Being bugged for food a million trillion times a day - frustrating
Having your house trashed over and over - exasperating
Having 3 exhausted kids fall asleep watching tv - PRICELESS

Approximately 8 years and 34 weeks ago...

...I walked out of the bathroom carrying a white stick. I sat on the bed next to my sleeping husband and didn't say anything. I couldn't. The words just wouldn't come out. I sat there for a few minutes quietly sobbing until it woke him up. He bounced straight up obviously concerned seeing me just sitting there crying. I still couldn't talk. I just thrust that white stick out at him. He took one look at those two blue lines and in typical Brian fashion uttered the words "What are you crying for dickhead? I thought that's what you wanted." Hell yes, it was what I wanted.  I was surprised it happened so bloody quickly, but yes it was what I wanted without a doubt.

---

So now it's the morning of his 8th birthday. Again I feel like quietly crying. 

My baby is eight. Where did that time go? Everyday I thank my lucky stars that he is in it. 

Yes we have some not so good days (he's stubbon and pig headed just like me, so really I cannot expect any different), but they are out weighed by the millions of "I love yous" I get. They are outweighed by the bear hug cuddles I get. They are outweighed by the drawings of me I get given. They are outweighed by the little (well not so little anymore) boy who still runs down the hallway to come flying into his mum's arms when I get home from work. These things I cherish. It won't be long now before it's not "cool" to be doing any of those things.

Happy 8th Birthday Baby Boy. xx
Love you to the moon and back.

New Kids on the block - Scaffolding :)

 Scaffolding delivered this morning - the house is going to look very different soon.

Flinstones, meet the Flinstones

Liam: Mum does everyone have a TV antenna?
Me: Yes most people do.
Liam: They don't on the flinstones and they have TV.
Me: The flinstones is a cartoon, it's not real.
Liam: Yes, they where real in the olden days.

LMAO

Oh and to add to this, I just googled and he's wrong.

See!!! Big mother antenna!

The Aliens are coming (cue "Close encounters of the 3rd kind" music)

So today being the nice parents we are, we decided to take the kids on what we called a Magical Mystery Tour (in layman's terms, driving somewhere which doesn't include electronics or fast food and I'm not telling you where so you that you don't bug me about the lack of "fun stuff" while driving).

So picture this (here's some visuals just to help the process)

Glorious day for a drive

Enjoying a picnic in the sunshine

Go for a nice walk to check out the waterfall

Trying and failing to be arty farty and get some nice water shots

WTF IS THAT SHIT CARVED INTO THE ROCKFACE???

I mean seriously, WTF is that??? That is one of the creepiest bloody things I've ever seen. So yeah after that we backtracked and headed off to somewhere much more pleasant. Sweet dreams tonight eh?

I was in your store earlier today

*Sigh* These are the last words you want to hear when you work in retail because they are usually the precursor to a conversation that you really don't want to be having. So today I was pleasantly surprised to answer the phone to a lovely customer who was wanting to thank me for the service I gave her. I was so pleasantly surprised that I thought I'd blog about it (ya know, ASW and all that jazz).

In reality I didn't do much more for her than I would for anyone else. I offered assistance, she was specific in her needs and I managed to source what she wanted. Just another day at the office really. What I guess made it impressive was that she left the store and returned again to purchase more and to thank me. Then phoned a few hours later to thank me again. In this day and age, you don't really get much thanks in retail. Hell there are days where you are lucky if you get an acknowledgement but it's customers like this that make the job worthwhile.

Now in turn this has rubbed off on to me. I've always been friendly and polite to people serving me but I've never rang anywhere and said thanks. I honestly don't know if I'd go that far, but I do make sure that I really thank the person who has shown me great customer service. Not that over the top crazy shit, but the genuine stuff that hopefully that person will walk away remembering.

I heart Werribee

You know every single working day I work past this stall and choke back laughter. Seriously like anyone is going to buy this T-Shirt. ANYONE.

If you've come to Werribee you'll know that there is nothing spectacular to write home about. I mean hell it's not a bad place (unless you count the vision on last nights AFL Footy Show) and I do live in a surrounding suburb but it's just your typical burbs.

That said if you're feeling particularly creative you could write home about the claim to fame shit farm. That and bogans is all Werribee seems to be known for.

---

Now in the interest of all things not shit:

FlogYoBlog Friday 22/07

1.	Mama Grace Gets A Face-Lift !	43.	How to Help Your Working Husband Bond With Your Children
2.	Fuck, I put weight on...	44.	The neglectful wife
3.	Slightly chilli?	45.	The Power of the Awkward
4.	When I am a Mum I will never	46.	Shock, horror: father looks after his own children
5.	Blogopolis, here I come!	47.	Ella's Birth Story
6.	Chickens and Bees - My Sister	48.	An Abby Cadabby Birthday Party
7.	Something special from me to you!	49.	Haemochromatosis
8.	Under The Windmills - A bit fishy...	50.	The Things I'd Tell You
9.	Scary PND truth	51.	SAHMadness- Come dry with me, come dry, let's dry awaaayyyy!
10.	Parental Parody : Can't dress myself for shit	52.	Are you a Pott-Head?
11.	red shoes - a pastiche	53.	Nat's Natterings Magic 100 Words in Victorian Cursive
12.	Happy Birthday to me!!!!!	54.	Mixed Gems - Will my children look like me?
13.	Silent gratitude isn't very much to anyone.	55.	Putting it all out there...Lulu @Cherry Blossom Adventures
14.	My son has a "usual" at McDonalds!! Oh the Shame	56.	NappyDaze & the Crisis of confidence
15.	Wherever the day takes you - Defining Moments	57.	Mummy's Undeserved Blessings
16.	11practical ways to build self esteem	58.	I Resorted to toilet humour ... Again.
17.	Mrs Woog shares some delicious canned food ideas	59.	Kirsty@MyHomeTruths - A Perfect Storm
18.	Hmm nothing too exciting going on but coome and say hi anyway - I'm lonely.	60.	Sam-O
19.	Lifeasmummymax - forgetting my age	61.	You tube thursday - Go the F*ck to sleep edition
20.	Working with PR @Three Lil	62.	Tara@OurWhirlwindAdventures
21.	400 Weeks Pregnant - My Mummy Daze	63.	Reservoir Dad
22.	Weekend retreating	64.	Here I Am Loulou
23.	Little Drummer Boys Giveaway	65.	mums the word
24.	Five Little Reasons - Every Kitchen Needs One.	66.	Don't Worry Be Happy!
25.	nothatgoodofaperson	67.	bronnie (maid in australia)
26.	And then a big, brown shark came	68.	Jess WhoaMamma
27.	is your marriage baby-proof?	69.	What in the hell was I thinking?
28.	Nobashake - grateful	70.	Hitler Vs MagnetoBoldToo
29.	ninja tales	71.	Asthma- Lil Going Left
30.	Social Media Addiction? @ The Mummy Autobiography	72.	Kids are NOT a fashion accessory
31.	Moodi Mumma	73.	Freedom of Expression- The Body Edition
32.	Cute Baby Bedhead	74.	Gimme Gimme Gimme, Airline Advice Please!
33.	Since when did this get so hard?	75.	World First - Tattoo Tuesday!
34.	Recipe for a Wet Weekend	76.	Having fun is for losers @ Mum in search
35.	The Princess Margaret you didn't know	77.	A Dose of Joy
36.	Just Jess- An Announcement	78.	Juice for Beauty
37.	Six Weeks	79.	Finding My New Normal
38.	Eat Play Bond - When The Boys Set Up House	80.	Curious about Costco?
39.	MummyK and her death trap car	81.	Child abuse by ... sunburn?
40.	Wanderlust - How to save a life	82.	Lark Creations
41.	Seana's Crust Conundrums... are you a crust-cutter?	83.	My Fijian holiday in photos!
42.	High School Secrets

(Cannot add links: Registration/trial expired)

And then a big brown shark came

Anyone that's a first time parent will be familiar with all the horror stories that get inflicted on you from the moment that you pee on stick. Apart from the obvious your child being ill or worse the one thing that really struck a chord of horror with me was the dreaded poo stories. In particular the poo painting and pooing in the bath. So for me it probably was a small stroke of good luck that two of my three kids have bowel issues causing constipation. In almost eight years we've had only one poo painting incident (which admittedly did cause lots of gagging and retching on my part) and had no bath incidents...

...until last week.

I was at work and getting just a tad annoyed that I'd been trying to phone Brian several times on both the home phone and mobile and he wasn't answering either. When he finally called me back, I got to speak to Imogen who proudly told me "I did poos in the bath". Is it wrong that I laughed that it was Brian that it happened to? Is it wrong that I'd told all my workmates so that when he came in later that even they laughed at him?

Imogen told me that she was crying and screaming "because the poo came out" and I was laughing even more as I can only imagine my anal retentive germ phobe husband squealing even louder than her at the thought of having to clean it.

I'm still laughing now just typing this out which brings me to the video below which I immediately though of when it happened.

Jumping on the bandwagon

Now I'm not one to join in on the planking phenomen. 

Quite frankly I think it's bloody ridiculous. 

But hey I'll jump on the bandwagon if the right opportunity arises. 

And arise it did.

Planking - Imogen style

Love the country drive

As much as the long drive to and from the inlaws is a killer, I have to admit that I have a really soft spot for country scenery. One day I'd love to just take my time and meander up there with my camera in tow and take pics of everything that catches my eye. Take for instance driving through a leafless avenue of honour with one single bird sitting on a very top branch, the almost completely decimated bluestone cottages in open field, the gorgeous little town of Beaufort which I stop at every time.

One day I'll find the time to do it.

Stupid is as stupid does

After the week I've had I'm thinking Mrs Gump had me in mind when she coined this phrase.

My week of stupids:

• After having packaged up two parcels to post to another store, I then proceeded to cut one open only about an hour later thinking they where deliveries to us. After realising my stupidity and having a laugh about it, no more than 10 minutes later did the same thing with the second parcel.

Source

• For some reason I've lost all ability to count money. Every single day I've somehow stuffed up the cash counting, whether it be from swapping change or just plain on counting. You name it, I stuffed it.

Source

•  I locked myself out of the back room at work not once but twice in a space of 24 hours.

Source

And finally the pièce de résistance:

Had an unfortunate incident with a loose thread and underwear. How the hell people go commando beats me because I was going to stick it out for my last hour at work and after not even 5 minutes I was doing an emergency dash to K-Mart with butt cheeks clenched all the while wondering if people behind me could see I was footloose and fancy free. Now I debated sharing this gem but I figured that the entertainment value was worth the shame.

Source

---

And yes again I'm late, but I'll still share the love:

FlogYoBlog Friday 15/07

1.	Fussy Eater's Mum	39.	tattoomummy - oldageaphobia
2.	Under The Windmills - The Gift of Life	40.	Hearing Voices - Pandamoanium
3.	Granny gets a makeover	41.	Panic at the bookstore
4.	The Blog-alogue	42.	Living Life Playing the Glad Game
5.	Pointing the bloody finger!	43.	A Vlog by Just Me
6.	Leave Pass: Mummy's night off	44.	Amy @ MahliMoo
7.	Being a kid again	45.	Embracing the calm after the storm
8.	Give me a little sign girl (minus Peter Andre)	46.	Just Jess- Bogan
9.	BFF and Outrageous Prices on Used Goods	47.	Baby Girl's 1st Manicure
10.	Toushka Lee will let her 3 yr old babysit the baby!	48.	Stay At Home Madness- Elvis, Renovations and The Hustle!
11.	relax and rewind .. x	49.	Balance, balance, wherefore art thou balance
12.	This week's Guest Star - Journey Beyond Survival	50.	Seana's Real Mothers' Group, the Old Trolls
13.	Who is she trying to impress Part 2	51.	The Bad Wife Post
14.	A night out with The Mummy Autobiography	52.	Toddler Tastes
15.	The count down catch up - arrrgghhh!	53.	Special Rewards, Jeggings and a Galaxy
16.	I'm F.I.N.E, Just fine.	54.	Rainy Day Box - Giveaway
17.	Meet Melman	55.	Mrs Woog blogs about a shiny vagina
18.	Five Little Reasons	56.	What about the Cupcakes?
19.	Double three	57.	It's Great to Hydrate - Beauty Giveaway!
20.	Moodi Mumma	58.	Things I Know FlogBlogging Style
21.	How Harry Potter Was Almost Ruined	59.	Scared of Daycare - Good, Bad & Unnecessary
22.	Parental Parody	60.	Mixed Gems - Mummy Slave and the Snot Machine
23.	Giving Back Girl	61.	Stay Out of My Way ...
24.	Living with boys	62.	When the mummy monster visits - brought to you by PMT inc.
25.	An Oblivious Person and a Small Blog	63.	Get your glow on
26.	Do you view food as fuel or pleasure?	64.	Lifeasmummymax
27.	Conversations with a two-and-a-half year old	65.	bigwords shows her placenta
28.	Licensed to Drive - even though it scares the be'jesus outa me!	66.	My Sons Birth Story
29.	Eat Play Bond Aldi - The Good, The Bad and The Crazy	67.	Six months without diet coke
30.	Home to School	68.	FoodMuster - Super Giveaway
31.	MummyK and her Digital Parents logo	69.	My Babes get their first pets
32.	Why Red Fingernails Makes A Happy Mother	70.	The Mummy Hat
33.	Donations welcome hehe	71.	Mother Moments - My Parenting Fail
34.	Becky and James | Being Different	72.	Why praise alone won't build self esteem
35.	It's 'D' Day - Wherever the day takes you	73.	Finding My New Normal
36.	Things I need to find in Sydney	74.	Pampers&Pinot: Burning Soles
37.	Tickets giveaway - excellent show/expo	75.	Princess Leia
38.	Uncharted milestones	76.	notthatgoodofaperson

(Cannot add links: Registration/trial expired)

New Kids on the block - Bricks, bricks and more bricks

YAY! All the bricks have arrived.

Who's a pretty birthday boy then?

Ahhh John, there is just so much I can say.  So many adventures shared, so many ups and downs, friends through the good and the bad. I'm so glad that you're a part of our lives. Happy Birthday Old Man. xx

John & I - 1994

And now some words from the wise Freddy Mercury:

Ooo, you make me live now honey
Ooo, you make me live
You're the best friend
that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You're my best friend 

Well you're one of them :P

New Kids on the block - To brick or not to brick, that is the question

23.06.11 -Bottom story wrapped and ready to be bricked. YAY!!!
24.06.11 -Two week hold up on bricks :( Nothing can be done now until the bricks arrive. BOO!!!

09.07.11 - We have some bricks. They appear to be the ones that go under the render. At least they're bricks.

MasterChef / DisasterChef

'Cause you're hot and you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in and you're out. You're up and you're down...

Much to the kids disgust today they got to spend time with me instead of going to the holiday program. Now usually they wouldn't complain (well that's what I'm telling myself) but today they where having a MasterChef inspired cupcake decorating contest at the holiday program. Not to be outdone but a bunch of carers, it was time for fail mother to step up to the mark. Oh yes and live up to my fail mother reputation I did with this wonderful creation. Note to self :check consistancy of writing gels before attempting a culinary masterpiece. 
Anyway, the main point of the exercise was for the kids to have a great time and that they did. Here's the pics along the way and the final results to prove it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

In keeping with the theme of all things MasterChef, here's what else is cooking in the world of blogs:

FlogYoBlog Friday 08/07

1.	Meet my Blogopolis sponsor!	48.	Eat Play Bond - Happiness Is...
2.	Mama Grace talks about her days as a hapless corporate hamster	49.	Trish
3.	Our Whirlwind Adventures - Google+	50.	4 things I hate doing...everyday
4.	The Dreaded UnFollow	51.	bronnie
5.	Under The Windmills - The Lazy Post	52.	Winter wardrobe colour
6.	Kissed the girls and made me cry@diary of a SAHM	53.	Mrs Woog shares more Parenting Tips
7.	Help yourself	54.	Bittersweet
8.	Wednesday From The Womb - Week 26	55.	The Big Fat Lump
9.	Honestly, she doesn't whine at all!!	56.	My Truth - The Good, The Bad & The Unnecessary
10.	Three Li'l Princesses - Give us a kiss	57.	Living Life Playing the Glad Game
11.	Helllllllo income!	58.	Toy sales - fifth dimension of hell
12.	Where is the line between parenting and invading our childrens privacy?	59.	Rockin the Puffer!
13.	Chickens and Bees - Happies Vs Sads	60.	Guest Poster - KylieOfiu - Setting A Budget
14.	The link between leaving corporate Australia and red wine	61.	Lessons from My Cat
15.	A Dose of Dannie	62.	Seagull's love affair with 7:30
16.	The one where I get rooted!	63.	Wedge ...
17.	Parental Parody - School Holidays	64.	Under the weather
18.	Emmasbrain	65.	Blog posts never written
19.	The mother I was and what I have now become	66.	Win a Baby ???
20.	Amy @ Mahli Moo- Frugal Feasts	67.	Surviving Motherhood
21.	A good day	68.	How I saved $400 in 2 weeks
22.	Lil-Going Left	69.	kate knows stuff
23.	Do you remember the last day you spoke to someone special, before they died	70.	Goggle+1= Me
24.	Jennifer Smart	71.	It might not exactly be the version of Prodigal Son you expect!"
25.	My very White Eekend	72.	Room with a View
26.	a new leaf	73.	I'm freaking moving to Sydney in 3 weeks. Be my friend?????
27.	MummyK almost got bombed, seriously!	74.	Blue Zone: Giveaway and more
28.	Musical Interlude at Toushka Lee	75.	Chookarelli
29.	Normal is the New Advanced	76.	Lulu @ Cherry Blossom Adventures
30.	First post giveaway!	77.	One Blind Housewife @myIdeaLife
31.	BM-I Don't Car abusing Professor	78.	Nobashake
32.	Down down prices are down? @dollarseeds	79.	Luckiest Girl In The World
33.	Yesterday I saw a man have a heart attack.	80.	MasterChef/DisasterChef
34.	things about money that shit me	81.	A Life Less Ordinary...Guest post by Handflapper
35.	You tube Thursday - Mich,The Optimist	82.	Pampers&Pinot: Whack a Mole
36.	A little space like home	83.	notthatgoodofaperson
37.	ATBOTG - Great Gallifreyan Tramp Stamps...	84.	A Book, A Girl, A Journey
38.	Why I won't be watching Transformers 3	85.	Special Saturday - Music
39.	My Daughters Birth Story	86.	TwitchyCorner- A Fashion Faux Pas
40.	Airport Love @ Mia's Mummy	87.	PR & Blogs - I finally get how the bloggy world turns!
41.	Got A Story To Tell Me?	88.	ClaireyHewitt needs help with Toys.
42.	Early bed, early to rise. Again, and again, and again.	89.	Picklebums - crazy kids
43.	Fussy Eater's Mum	90.	Things I Know - As linked to by Hitler
44.	Sesame - Five Weeks	91.	The Beet Goes On - Dear Katy Perry, you really are a stupid bint
45.	Miss Cinders - So I Put on my Big Girl Boots Today...	92.	Forever - Gaia giveaway
46.	Acceptance & a Friday Fluff	93.	Lifeasmummymax
47.	Trusting our instincts

(Cannot add links: Registration/trial expired)