And then a big brown shark came

Anyone that's a first time parent will be familiar with all the horror stories that get inflicted on you from the moment that you pee on stick. Apart from the obvious your child being ill or worse the one thing that really struck a chord of horror with me was the dreaded poo stories. In particular the poo painting and pooing in the bath. So for me it probably was a small stroke of good luck that two of my three kids have bowel issues causing constipation. In almost eight years we've had only one poo painting incident (which admittedly did cause lots of gagging and retching on my part) and had no bath incidents...

...until last week.

I was at work and getting just a tad annoyed that I'd been trying to phone Brian several times on both the home phone and mobile and he wasn't answering either. When he finally called me back, I got to speak to Imogen who proudly told me "I did poos in the bath". Is it wrong that I laughed that it was Brian that it happened to? Is it wrong that I'd told all my workmates so that when he came in later that even they laughed at him?

Imogen told me that she was crying and screaming "because the poo came out" and I was laughing even more as I can only imagine my anal retentive germ phobe husband squealing even louder than her at the thought of having to clean it.

I'm still laughing now just typing this out which brings me to the video below which I immediately though of when it happened.

F is for Friday (amongst other things)

This week was on of those weeks that seem to drag forever and tonight couldn't come around fast enough. I resisted temptation (and by George, it's killing me) but I am NOT posting under the influence. I so want to be though. Why oh why is there so many calories in Red?

Anyway, enough lamenting - this week has been interesting to say the least. So here's some random musings and carry ons from this week:

• My gorgeous photogenic child has gone a growth spurt and is looking, well how can I say it, ummm goofy. In the space of 4 days he's lost 3 teeth and his one remaining front tooth is also loose. My feelings on loose teeth are the same as those on loose wet hair. I swear I'll vomit if this kids waves his loose tooth at me again tonight.

• On the subject of vomiting, Brian sends me this photo of what he thinks is his broken ankle. After turning the phone around different ways, I finally realised that I was looking down his leg and the big *blerk* lump *blerk* on the right is his ankle. Thankfully it turned out to be only tissue damage and bad swelling. But still *blerk* all the same.
  

• So yesterday was D-day for our house sale to go unconditional. We where so excited, can't believe it was happening. Than BAM...no confirmation from buyer. Unbeknown to us, there is apparently a leeway of 2 clear working days after this date for them to still to back out by having their finance fall through. They have verbal confirmation of their finance, but nothing in writing. So now we're in limbo. It's a 30 day settlement. We're meant to be moving in 7 days. So now we won't know until Monday what's happening. I want to scream. Do I pack this weekend or not? Grrrr.
  

Arachnophobics look no further

So this morning Jack decided to climb into bed with us at I-can't-be-bothered-looking-at-the-clock o'clock and was restless for ages, so consequently I had a crappy sleep. Then I get woken up at 6.30am by Jack shaking me telling me there is a spider. I still had my eyes shut and asked him where (thinking knowing him it's just a Daddy Long Legs) and what type only to be told that it's big, black and look it's up here. I pried my eyes open only to see directly above our head this:

Now my reaction was that of any good Arachnophobe - I let out a ginormous squeal and flew out of the bed faster than the speed of light. Of course that squeal woke the rest of the house, so everyone is in our bedroom while Brian is working out how to kill the bastard without it falling on to our pillows. Ewww, ewwww, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I still squirming just writing this. Brian's common sense prevailed (thankfully considering mine had made a hasty retreat once the spider appeared) and the bed was pulled away from the wall, said spider was sprayed and when it fell to the floor, smashed to smitherines by my trusty moccasin (for the moccasin naysayers - see they're good for something).

So after all this drama, surprisingly I fell back into a somewhat peaceful slumber for about another hour.