Baby you can drive my car

Well ride my bike/scooter whatever.

Anyone ever been to the Essendon Traffic School? Seems like I was the only disadvantaged child that never got to go in primary school. Luckily my kids won't be in the same boat since they where lucky enough to be invited to a kids party there. Who knew that you could hire the place out? The kids had a ball.

Sometimes I don't mind being woken at 6am

Especially when it's someone's BIRTHDAY!

Dear Jackasaurus,

I still remember the day that I realised you where in my tummy. I was so excited, but I was also a little scared. How was I going to be able to look after two babies? Your big brother was only a baby too. I used to rub my tummy at night talking to you used to answer me with your little kicks back. Every day my tummy got bigger and bigger and the Doctors kept telling me that you where going to be very big. When you finally came out you where HUGE. That was the day that we decided to call you Boof.

Jack 16.08.04 4.95kgs 59cm

From the day we took you home you where the most relaxed little boy. You adored your big brother. Even when he kept laying on you and trying to squish you with his cuddles. We always said that one day you'd get him back and that one day came as soon as you could crawl. You used to follow him everywhere. If he was playing with something, you wanted to play too but you where so big and clumsy that you'd just knock everything over.

As you grew, so did your personality. You have always been the entertainer, even when little you'd love to put on a show for us and we still get some sort of show at least every day now. You are the stereotypical middle child. Just so relaxed and you quite happily go with the flow.

I love you with all my heart Mr Jackasaurus. Happy birthday my baby boy. xx

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Yes, Jack's birthday was quite a while back but for some reason this didn't auto post on his birthday and I only just realised. Sorry Jack :(

It's good enough for me

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

Familiar anyone? Nope? Well does this jog your memory then?

I hadn't thought about this movie for years until my brother quite nicely pointed out the similarities between sloth and photo of Jack after getting dumped by a wave at the beach on the weekend. Poor Jack and his unfortunate typical 7 year old mismatched teeth - complete with the one ripper front tooth (you know the one, great for opening cans).

WDYT? Can you see the resemblance?

Everybody hurts, sometimes

There is so much I want to write, but I can't find the words. 

I watched the whole attack live after getting home from work. I couldn't tun the tv off. 

Those images haunt me. They always will. 

To the victims of 9/11 - May you be in a better place and know that you will never be forgotten. 

To the survivors of 9/11 - Stay stong and know that you will always be in the hearts of many.

Nobody likes a bogan

Who would have thought that a simple day at work would have ended with me almost getting into a stereotypical  Western Suburbs punch on? 

Earlier in the day there was an incident with a lovely *cough* lady *even bigger cough* who didn't appreciate myself and the store manager telling her that her children may get injured playing on the workout machines outside our store. Without going into detail, let's just say that she REALLY didn't appreciate it and found many imaginative ways to tell us that and what we should be doing rather than worrying about her children. Needless to say, security was called and her and her friend where escorted out of the plaza. Or so we thought.

When leaving work, the boss and I where lucky enough to run into the friend of the lovely lady who decided that it was the perfect opportunity to go for another round. Me being me, couldn't help myself and gave her a serve back (hey, I wasn't at work any longer so why should I put up with it) to which she jumped out of her car and came at me demanding I say it to her face. So I did. I'm guessing it was probably a lucky thing that she was standing nose to nose to me otherwise she more than likely would have decked me. I won't deny that I was quietly shitting myself, but I didn't back down which I think threw her. So after a few choice words back and forth she walked off. 

I think my poor boss will never look at me the same again. At least I got something good out of my Melton upbringing.

Good old Collingwood forever...

They know how to play the game.
*snort*

Nothing like a good ol' Collingwood ass whipping to lift the spirits. And this sight over the weekend lifted it even more.

Ba de ya - tell me you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudly day

Now that you've got your grove on, let this be a warning to you. You know those lhamo bloggers that everybody whines about that can't think of anything to write so they pepper their posts with song lyrics. Well I am one. Well kinda. It's not that I can't think of anything to write but sometimes the music is just so apt that I have to throw it into a post or even as the header to it. If I can hear it in my head while typing, why not pester the masses with it.

So in that vein, I hereby proclaim September to be THE MONTH OF SONG LYRICS.

If you  don't like it, you know where the hide button is. 

Mastercard

Being woken up at 6am - irritating
Being constantly shot with Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 Blaster - maddening
Being bugged for food a million trillion times a day - frustrating
Having your house trashed over and over - exasperating
Having 3 exhausted kids fall asleep watching tv - PRICELESS

Approximately 8 years and 34 weeks ago...

...I walked out of the bathroom carrying a white stick. I sat on the bed next to my sleeping husband and didn't say anything. I couldn't. The words just wouldn't come out. I sat there for a few minutes quietly sobbing until it woke him up. He bounced straight up obviously concerned seeing me just sitting there crying. I still couldn't talk. I just thrust that white stick out at him. He took one look at those two blue lines and in typical Brian fashion uttered the words "What are you crying for dickhead? I thought that's what you wanted." Hell yes, it was what I wanted.  I was surprised it happened so bloody quickly, but yes it was what I wanted without a doubt.

---

So now it's the morning of his 8th birthday. Again I feel like quietly crying. 

My baby is eight. Where did that time go? Everyday I thank my lucky stars that he is in it. 

Yes we have some not so good days (he's stubbon and pig headed just like me, so really I cannot expect any different), but they are out weighed by the millions of "I love yous" I get. They are outweighed by the bear hug cuddles I get. They are outweighed by the drawings of me I get given. They are outweighed by the little (well not so little anymore) boy who still runs down the hallway to come flying into his mum's arms when I get home from work. These things I cherish. It won't be long now before it's not "cool" to be doing any of those things.

Happy 8th Birthday Baby Boy. xx
Love you to the moon and back.

New Kids on the block - Scaffolding :)

 Scaffolding delivered this morning - the house is going to look very different soon.

Flinstones, meet the Flinstones

Liam: Mum does everyone have a TV antenna?
Me: Yes most people do.
Liam: They don't on the flinstones and they have TV.
Me: The flinstones is a cartoon, it's not real.
Liam: Yes, they where real in the olden days.

LMAO

Oh and to add to this, I just googled and he's wrong.

See!!! Big mother antenna!

The Aliens are coming (cue "Close encounters of the 3rd kind" music)

So today being the nice parents we are, we decided to take the kids on what we called a Magical Mystery Tour (in layman's terms, driving somewhere which doesn't include electronics or fast food and I'm not telling you where so you that you don't bug me about the lack of "fun stuff" while driving).

So picture this (here's some visuals just to help the process)

Glorious day for a drive

Enjoying a picnic in the sunshine

Go for a nice walk to check out the waterfall

Trying and failing to be arty farty and get some nice water shots

WTF IS THAT SHIT CARVED INTO THE ROCKFACE???

I mean seriously, WTF is that??? That is one of the creepiest bloody things I've ever seen. So yeah after that we backtracked and headed off to somewhere much more pleasant. Sweet dreams tonight eh?

I was in your store earlier today

*Sigh* These are the last words you want to hear when you work in retail because they are usually the precursor to a conversation that you really don't want to be having. So today I was pleasantly surprised to answer the phone to a lovely customer who was wanting to thank me for the service I gave her. I was so pleasantly surprised that I thought I'd blog about it (ya know, ASW and all that jazz).

In reality I didn't do much more for her than I would for anyone else. I offered assistance, she was specific in her needs and I managed to source what she wanted. Just another day at the office really. What I guess made it impressive was that she left the store and returned again to purchase more and to thank me. Then phoned a few hours later to thank me again. In this day and age, you don't really get much thanks in retail. Hell there are days where you are lucky if you get an acknowledgement but it's customers like this that make the job worthwhile.

Now in turn this has rubbed off on to me. I've always been friendly and polite to people serving me but I've never rang anywhere and said thanks. I honestly don't know if I'd go that far, but I do make sure that I really thank the person who has shown me great customer service. Not that over the top crazy shit, but the genuine stuff that hopefully that person will walk away remembering.

I heart Werribee

You know every single working day I work past this stall and choke back laughter. Seriously like anyone is going to buy this T-Shirt. ANYONE.

If you've come to Werribee you'll know that there is nothing spectacular to write home about. I mean hell it's not a bad place (unless you count the vision on last nights AFL Footy Show) and I do live in a surrounding suburb but it's just your typical burbs.

That said if you're feeling particularly creative you could write home about the claim to fame shit farm. That and bogans is all Werribee seems to be known for.

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Now in the interest of all things not shit:

And then a big brown shark came

Anyone that's a first time parent will be familiar with all the horror stories that get inflicted on you from the moment that you pee on stick. Apart from the obvious your child being ill or worse the one thing that really struck a chord of horror with me was the dreaded poo stories. In particular the poo painting and pooing in the bath. So for me it probably was a small stroke of good luck that two of my three kids have bowel issues causing constipation. In almost eight years we've had only one poo painting incident (which admittedly did cause lots of gagging and retching on my part) and had no bath incidents...

...until last week.

I was at work and getting just a tad annoyed that I'd been trying to phone Brian several times on both the home phone and mobile and he wasn't answering either. When he finally called me back, I got to speak to Imogen who proudly told me "I did poos in the bath". Is it wrong that I laughed that it was Brian that it happened to? Is it wrong that I'd told all my workmates so that when he came in later that even they laughed at him?

Imogen told me that she was crying and screaming "because the poo came out" and I was laughing even more as I can only imagine my anal retentive germ phobe husband squealing even louder than her at the thought of having to clean it.

I'm still laughing now just typing this out which brings me to the video below which I immediately though of when it happened.

Jumping on the bandwagon

Now I'm not one to join in on the planking phenomen. 

Quite frankly I think it's bloody ridiculous. 

But hey I'll jump on the bandwagon if the right opportunity arises. 

And arise it did.

Planking - Imogen style

Love the country drive

As much as the long drive to and from the inlaws is a killer, I have to admit that I have a really soft spot for country scenery. One day I'd love to just take my time and meander up there with my camera in tow and take pics of everything that catches my eye. Take for instance driving through a leafless avenue of honour with one single bird sitting on a very top branch, the almost completely decimated bluestone cottages in open field, the gorgeous little town of Beaufort which I stop at every time.

One day I'll find the time to do it.

Stupid is as stupid does

After the week I've had I'm thinking Mrs Gump had me in mind when she coined this phrase.

My week of stupids:

• After having packaged up two parcels to post to another store, I then proceeded to cut one open only about an hour later thinking they where deliveries to us. After realising my stupidity and having a laugh about it, no more than 10 minutes later did the same thing with the second parcel.

Source

• For some reason I've lost all ability to count money. Every single day I've somehow stuffed up the cash counting, whether it be from swapping change or just plain on counting. You name it, I stuffed it.

Source

•  I locked myself out of the back room at work not once but twice in a space of 24 hours.

Source

And finally the pièce de résistance:

Had an unfortunate incident with a loose thread and underwear. How the hell people go commando beats me because I was going to stick it out for my last hour at work and after not even 5 minutes I was doing an emergency dash to K-Mart with butt cheeks clenched all the while wondering if people behind me could see I was footloose and fancy free. Now I debated sharing this gem but I figured that the entertainment value was worth the shame.

Source

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And yes again I'm late, but I'll still share the love:

New Kids on the block - Bricks, bricks and more bricks

YAY! All the bricks have arrived.

Who's a pretty birthday boy then?

Ahhh John, there is just so much I can say.  So many adventures shared, so many ups and downs, friends through the good and the bad. I'm so glad that you're a part of our lives. Happy Birthday Old Man. xx

John & I - 1994

And now some words from the wise Freddy Mercury:

Ooo, you make me live now honey
Ooo, you make me live
You're the best friend
that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You're my best friend 

Well you're one of them :P

New Kids on the block - To brick or not to brick, that is the question

23.06.11 -Bottom story wrapped and ready to be bricked. YAY!!!
24.06.11 -Two week hold up on bricks :( Nothing can be done now until the bricks arrive. BOO!!!

09.07.11 - We have some bricks. They appear to be the ones that go under the render. At least they're bricks.

MasterChef / DisasterChef

'Cause you're hot and you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in and you're out. You're up and you're down...

Much to the kids disgust today they got to spend time with me instead of going to the holiday program. Now usually they wouldn't complain (well that's what I'm telling myself) but today they where having a MasterChef inspired cupcake decorating contest at the holiday program. Not to be outdone but a bunch of carers, it was time for fail mother to step up to the mark. Oh yes and live up to my fail mother reputation I did with this wonderful creation. Note to self :check consistancy of writing gels before attempting a culinary masterpiece. 
Anyway, the main point of the exercise was for the kids to have a great time and that they did. Here's the pics along the way and the final results to prove it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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In keeping with the theme of all things MasterChef, here's what else is cooking in the world of blogs: